i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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