hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
