"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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