I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We need to get me chipped asap
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