hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
