so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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