awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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