He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
