oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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