is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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