You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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