I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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