yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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