I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
