used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
