I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
