Can Purell be used as lube?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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