We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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