I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize