i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
