come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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