I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
