Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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