I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
