I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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