I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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