You really coming over, don't trick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize