Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Still dying that you shit outside
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
