YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
