the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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