We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
