True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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