i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
