You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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