i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
