I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
