Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
