I only kidnapped one of them. chill
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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