READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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