I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
