it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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