I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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