also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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