Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
