I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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