I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
