Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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