I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
