I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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