Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
