The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
