you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
