instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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