There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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