it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
